Materia Forever Mk VII
by Nomad-Alpha
Summary: a skit I though of while watching a friend-o-mine play FFVII.... enjoy...


Cid: O.K. (sigh)  
  
Bahamut: Ooooh! lookey HERE!  
  
[Cid gets a quick jab from bahamut!]  
  
Cid: Grrrrrr...  
  
[Bahamut receives a major scar, on his other cheek..]  
  
Bahamut: (groan) (moan) (sob) Waaaaahhhhh! (Fwwwwoooossshh)  
  
[Bahamut shoots a large fire ball at Cid.]  
  
Cid: (moan) Waaahhhhhh! I WANT SOME CIGARETTES!  
  
[Cid winds up for his big brawl limit break when...]  
  
Tifa: would you'all stop it, I mean I'm trying to get a tan   
  
and I cant relax with all of these explosions and I almost got   
  
hit by Bahamut's tail....  
  
Bahamut: I'm sorry!  
  
Tifa: ..and Cid's crumbled up cigarettes got all up in my hair...  
  
Cid: Sorry!  
  
Tifa: If you're gonna fight...  
  
[Tifa, looking soooo hot in her bikini starts to stomp the sand   
  
with both feet.]  
  
Tifa: Would you go somewhere (snap!)  
  
Cid: Ahhhhhhhh!  
  
Red: Wooooooow!!!!!!  
  
Bahamut: M-m-m-my good-d-d-dness-sssss-ssss!  
  
Cloud: I didn't expect that!  
  
[Tifa's B-top snaps off at the last stomp, whoa..]  
  
Cloud: (Damn, I didn't expect that... she's soooooo hot!)  
  
HEY, dont look at her like that!  
  
[While he runs over to Tifa he receives a major boner!]  
  
Cloud: Come here baby, gimmie some lovin'!  
  
Some Guy: SWEET JESUS! why don't you two get a room!  
  
Cloud: Die muscle MAN!  
  
[Cloud casts Ultima at that guy while kissing Tifa!]  
  
Some Guy: Cough! Cough!  
  
Tifa: (crying) Why do I embarrass my self every time I get mad?  
  
Cloud: I embarrass myself every time I see you! [Cloud looks   
  
confused when he ties Tifa's B-straps.]  
  
Tifa: Waahh!!  
  
Cloud: (I said it the wrong way!) I didn't mean that!  
  
Cloud: What I meant was, I see you, I get excited, I fall on   
  
my face....  
  
Tifa: I like it when you fall on your face (sniff)...  
  
Cloud: Tee-Hee-hee-hee-hee! (hic) Oh!...  
  
Tifa: ha,ha,ha.... so cute....Ah!  
  
[Cloud jumps back from Tifa] [A spotlight shines on him and   
  
Cid's theme starts to play. Rose petals slowly fall to   
  
the ground.]  
  
Cloud: I gotta find Yuffie!!  
  
Tifa: Cough! Cough!  
  
Yuffie: I'm almost there 5 minutes 'til Wutai!!  
  
Dad's gonna be so proud of me!!  
  
[A few fights later]  
  
[At the pagoda]  
  
Yuffie: Dad!! look at what I got!!  
  
Godo: Great!! Where's the contract?  
  
Yuffie: Contract?  
  
Godo: WHAT??  
  
[His Voice vibrates the whole pagoda...]  
  
Yuffie: The contract has to be signed?  
  
Godo: Duh!!  
  
Yuffie: O.K.  
  
Godo: Return their materia...  
  
Yuffie: (sigh)  
  
[Yuffie walks away sobing]  
  
Yuffie: I hope they forgive me...  
  
Reeve: Stop RIGHT THERE!  
  
Yuffie: Here they come...  
  
Reeve: Hey, I FOUND.. RWAWW!!  
  
Vincent: HA, HA, HA, HA COUGH, COUGH....  
  
Reeve: (pants pulled down) H-Hey! why did you do that for?  
  
(Vincent points at Yuffie running towards them)  
  
Yuffie: Guys? I'm sorry for stealing the materia again...  
  
Dad wouldn't let me keep them, but he said....  
  
Reeve: (zips his pants back up) ......BUT YOU'LL DO IT AGAIN   
  
WOULDN'T YA, HUH?  
  
Yuffie: ....noooo... dad said that....  
  
Reeve: GO BACK AND STEAL SOME MORE FROM THEM!  
  
I PRAY TO THE MATRIX THAT IF YOU STEAL FROM US  
  
ONE MORE TIME I WILL BEAT THE LIVING FLOATING  
  
POINT PROCESSER RIGHT OUT OF YOUR......  
  
Yuffie: (crying) I BROUGHT THE MATERIA BACK AND THIS IS THE  
  
THANKS I GET!!! (Throws bag on the ground) I DONT NEED   
  
THIS!!! (runs away) WHAAAAAAA!!!  
  
Vincent: Yuffie! Wait! (runs after her)  
  
Reeve: ......was that all she was doing, so she stole the materia for some  
  
attention?... Why did I yell at her? Why am I like this?  
  
FUUUURRRRRRYYYYYY!!!!!!!  
  
(Yuffie stops near the beach crying)  
  
Yuffie: (sniff) all I wanted was some attention..... (sniff)  
  
(Vincent walks up listening to Yuffie)  
  
Vincent: Why didn't you just say.. Hey Vincent, I have an idea or  
  
Check this out or VOONDABAR!!!  
  
(Yuffie laughs)  
  
Yuffie: Why Vincent, I didn't know that you still have a since of humor..  
  
Vincent: (rubs his forehead) I didn't either....  
  
Yuffie: (idea) .....tell ya what, if I have an idea I'll tell you K?  
  
Vincent: (laughs) Sure..  
  
Reeve: FUUUUURRRRRYYYYYYY!!!!!!  
  
(While Reeve screams like a fool the bag-o-materia starts to glow)  
  
(OOOOOHHHHHH!)  
  
Reeve: Why am I so.......anti-social? (BILNG)  
  
(The materia jumped out of the bag an melted together into huge   
  
materia)  
  
Reeve: BITCHIN' !  
  
(The materia spins around him and goes up in the air)  
  
Reeve: Where are you goin' (reaches for it)  
  
(The huge materia falls onto him. Now hes inside the huge materia) 


End file.
